Who Believes We’ll Ever Get the Full Story About Jeffrey Epstein?

Is it too much to dream that just once we got the whole story behind one of these Jeffrey Epstein-like episodes. … and that we got it within weeks, not years-to-decades after the event?

Of course you, me and every pig flying overhead thought “conspiracy” when we heard Epstein killed himself. As every pundit has been saying, the guy with possibly criminal-quality stories to tell about Presidents, royalty, other politicians, Nobel-level academics and god knows who else, was the highest profile prisoner in US custody when — we’re to believe — the overworked, screwed-up jailers in Manhattan just kinda forgot about him long enough for Epstein to hang himself (with what? from what?) in the cell that against standing policy he had to himself.

All that would be highly suspicious enough were it not for the fact that the man who will now “oversee” the investigation into what happened is … Bill Barr, the raw embodiment of precisely the kind of institutionalist corruption that routinely drops a dense official shroud on uncomfortable truths.

Lord knows there are hundreds of truly insane conspiracy theories choking the sluice gates of our infotainment culture. Think Hillary Clinton and that child sex ring run out of a DC pizza parlor as an example of what a certain quality of thinker is prepared to believe. But … but … unlike the self-proclaimed “cooler heads” of media and government, people who protect their professional credibility by reflexively assuring us that, “You know, I’m not a big conspiracy theory guy”, the plain fact is that throughout human history individuals have plotted together to steal, cheat and murder to protect their nefarious interests. Why, it’s almost as basic as breathing and self-defense. Despite what we here in ‘Murica prefer to think, conspiracies are not the sole provenance of medieval royal courts and Russian apparatchiks.

Proof is everything, of course. And that’s where the likes of characters like Bill Barr are so frequently present and prepared to slow the hunt for truth, cloud up transparency and bury come-what-may resolution under a cloud of convoluted legalism, often in the name of “healing” and “moving on .”

Like you, I have no idea what went down with Epstein over the weekend or what, if anything, Barr already knows. But, based on what we do know, almost entirely from the reporting of Julie K. Brown and The Miami Herald, everything about Epstein’s sweetheart “prosecution” in Florida a dozen years ago stinks like an open sewer. And … and … we still have no real idea how Epstein assembled a financial empire that clearly required the liquid cash wherewithall of an actual billionaire, not a false facade like some cheesy con-man making a show with a leased Maserati.

The larger point being that this — again — is one of those episodes where intelligent, fully-functioning adults have little to reason to believe — much like as in Russia — they will ever get the whole story from their government officials. Maybe from Ms. Brown or another news organization … work that will be derided as “fake news” by those of whom we are most suspicious, but not from the most senior people in charge of the “investigation”/creation of “alternative facts.”

Let me then apologize for this eruption of skepticism, cynicism and faithlessness. Maybe it’s just me. But I really don’t think so.

Jeffrey Epstein, Poster Boy for the Exceptionalism of the 1%

Of all the sleazy sideshow acts in our long-running carnival of fools and scoundrels, this business of Jeffrey Epstein is something I’d pay to see play out in all its lurid horror.

Epstein, a multi-millionaire financier, friend to the likes of Donald Trump. Bill Clinton and Alan Dershowitz is, I think we can agree, one colossal creep. He’s another example of dead-on perfect casting for the #MeToo era, besides playing like an over-the-top villain from that Showtime series, “Billions.”

What we know for certain is that the guy “frolicked” with girls “on the younger side”, to quote his buddy and repeat companion, Donnie Trump. And by “younger” we mean … well below legal age for naked rub downs and whatever else we can imagine, for which he compensated the children involved “hundreds of dollars”. In 1% jargon “hundreds of dollars” is also known as cash you don’t even stoop to pick off the pavement.

Last fall The Miami Herald sniffed out the rancid sweetheart con — orchestrated by Trump’s current Secretary of Labor, Alexander Acosta when he was doing the people’s business in south Florida. If you missed it, despite a stark and corroborated list of felonies involving said sex trafficking of minors, Acosta cut Epstein a 13-month work release sentence … without notifying the kids who he had molested. And … and! … clamped off any investigation into any pals of Epstein’s who might be involved.

Only “the best people”. (Rather than “calling” for Acosta’s resignation, Nancy Pelosi should drag him before Congress for public testimony.)

The Herald’s work on the case — fed by outraged sources in the Florida judicial system — failed to make any new waves under the state’s Trump-friendly new Governor, Ron DeSantis. But prosecutors in New York, where Epstein has one of his five homes, (a $70 million mansion just off Central Park), apparently failed to get their check in the mail from whoever bought off Acosta. (Okay, that’s not proven … yet.)

Along with thousands of pages in Florida’s files, which includes the feverish back and forth between Epstein’s lawyers and Acosta’s “prosecutors” to minimize any penalties, suspicion is running high that New York’s new information/evidence is so substantial, with so many new targets that bought-off MAGA hacks cannot dismiss it as “old news.”

This of course is where it could get (very) dicey for Bubba and Dershowitz and god knows who else. (Hell, there are even social connections — at least — to Britain’s royals. Imagine the dilemma for the royals-obsessed morning talk shows!.) Epstein’s alleged madam and procurer is the daughter of the British tycoon Rudy Perpich once wanted to cook a deal with right here in Minnesota.

So yeah, it’s a hot, juicy, perverted, disgusting mess. Very much in keeping with everything else about the Trump era. Plus, as they say on the infomercials, “there’s more!”. Bill Clinton! And, you gotta guess, other rich, pervy big shots.

Clinton’s office has issued a statement saying every time he consorted with Epstein he was accompanied by either staff or his security detail. Still, “frolicking” with underage girls on Epstein’s private jet or private island? Unfortunately it doesn’t strain credulity.

Here though is the thing I’d like to argue in the context of messaging for Campaign 2020. Anyone trying to exploit bona fide populist outrage could do worse than craft a campaign strategy on the nearly universal awareness and disgust with how routinely the 1%, (hell, make it the 5% just to round things out), slide off the back of felony justice in this grand democratic experiment of ours.

Democrats, Republicans, tinfoil hat Hannity dupes … all of them and everyone know this for a stone cold fact. The farce of “no one is above the law” is slapped across our faces every day.

Hell, Trump super-pal/NFL owner Robert Kraft of “happy ending” massage therapy in south Florida has so thoroughly gamed out the legal system down there, the only people facing serious punishment in his sleaze-and-squeeze are … the women who were trafficked in from Asia to yank on pudgy dirtballs rolling up in their Bentleys. They are the ones facing charges and crippling financial penalties.

Trump’s flagrantly bogus “drain the swamp” battle cry appealed to this deeply ingrained cynicism toward everything about D.C. politics. It was an obvious sham. But the essence of it had bi-partisan appeal. The trick to tapping the near universal disgust with how the rich and connected can game any system in which they play is in laying out the argument out in non-ideological terms.

Reality of course says that if you make an issue out of a “war” on every lizard in a Brioni suit gaming the system — be it the legal system, the tax system, the health insurance system, etc. — you’re eventually talking about new regulation, or at the very least, aggressive regulation/enforcement of laws already on the books.

And we know how the 1% – 5% feel about anything that sticks a wrench in their god-given right to exceptionalism.