Tag Archives: pills

Poor Kurt Bills Needs To Learn Modern GOP Fundraising Tactics

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I’ve got a tip for poor Kurt Bills or any Republican candidate out there running low on cash:  Say something really, really bizzaro.

I don’t mean a mere gaffe, or run-of-the-mill lie.  I mean the kind of batty stuff that used to get people drummed out of politics.  Because in the increasingly outlandish Republican Party, such rantings are a money magnet.

In today’s Republican Party, if you caterwaul “YOU LIE!” at the President of the United States during a quiet moment of a formal occasion, you no longer will be interrogated by the authorities and have a lifelong security clearance flag on your record.  Instead, you will receive a quick infusion of $200,000 from adoring Republicans.

If you state as incontrovertible fact that 80 Members of the United States Congress are members of the Communist Party, with much less evidence than disgraced Joe McCarthy brought forth, you will no longer be marginalized in American politics.  Rather, you will immediately use your hallucination as fundraising fodder, and be rewarded with a seven-figure avalanche of cash.

If it comes to light that you sexually harassed numerous women while married, you will no longer be ostracized by vigilant marriage-defending Republicans.  You will immediately receive a flood of $400,000 from them, and see your poll numbers spike.

And if you give voice to your reckless McCarthyesque delusions about terrorists infiltrating Hillary Clinton’s inner circle, you will no longer see your career fade to irrelevance the way McCarthy’s did.  Instead, you will open your mailbox to find a cool million waiting for you.

All of which is to say, Minnesota congressional candidate Mike Parry is a political genius.  Because now that he has viciously accused the Governor of being a drug addict with absolutely no evidence, and even ultra-conservatives in his own party contradicting him, he will not be quietly walked off the Republican stage before he does the Party more damage.   Instead, he will probably see Minnesota Republican activists flock to him with wallets wide open.

Therefore, look for U.S. Senate candidate Kurt Bills, now sitting on a mere 6,000 bills, to say something kooky in the coming days to revitalize his somnolent campaign.  I’m talking even loopier than “look at me, I’m Paul Wellstone!”  Perhaps he could accuse Senator Kloubachar of being a cleverly disguised blood thirsty space alien pedophile cannibal commie intent on overthrowing God, and Smith & Wesson, through provisions she has secretly inserted into the tax code, in invisible ink.

That ought to get him a seat on Hannity tonight, and several million dollars in the bank by morning.

– Loveland

 

Note:  This post was also featured as part of the “Best of the Blogs” feature in Politics in Minnesota’s Morning Report.

What A Pill: Parry the Puerile Pill Policeman Pops Off

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Today, Republican congressional candidate Mike Parry charged that Governor Mark Dayton is “scary” because Parry supposedly witnessed the Governor taking 15 or 16 pills at a breakfast meeting.

Then the news cycle takes off:  Dayton says the claim is a lie.  Parry says that it may not have been that many pills, but doesn’t back off the rest of his statement.  The Star Tribune notes that Dayton takes anti-depression medication, and that Parry stopped short of calling the Governor a drug addict.

All of the sudden, the Governor has to deny he is a drug addict?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You want to know what is truly “scary?”  It’s scary that anyone would even think to make the alleged taking of medication before a meal an issue.  Though the Governor says Parry’s story is not true, and we should take him at his word, SO WHAT if it was true?

Go ask some of your older friends and relatives how many pills – prescription, over the counter and supplements — they take every day.  You may very well hear a number that could be approaching 15, or could be mistaken by nosey onlookers as being in that range.

And you know what?  That makes them neither scary nor a drug addict.

I have a confession to make.  I too am “scary.”  Today, I took three fish oil capsules, a baby aspirin, a multivitamin, over-the-counter allergy medicine, and two types of prescription asthma medications.  If someone who hated me was watching me take my handful of daily meds, he might delude himself into believing that this handful of pills makes me a scarry drug addict.

Despite those eight medicines, I run about 20 miles per week, have healthy vital signs, and only am certifiably crazy when I hear about things like Mike Parry’s  accusation.

I suspect that the inneuendo game Parry is playing is to remind his fellow Dayton haters that Dayton, gasp, takes depression medication, something Dayton long ago disclosed, prior to be elected Governor.  I suspect that in Parry’s very small mind, taking depression medication somehow equates to “scary.”

But may I remind the wannabe Congressman that about 10% of the population – 27 million people – take depression medication, and the vast, vast majority of them function extremely well in their chosen fields.

Unless I’m missing something here, Mike Parry owes an apology to the Governor, the millions of people who are responsibly and effectively treating their depression and the millions more who take multiple medications per day to keep themselves healthy.

If Mr. Parry must worry about addiction, maybe he should worry about his own apparent addiction to childish personal cheapshots.

– Loveland