Americans spend something like $5 billion per year on Halloween. Dressing up in costumers has become an increasingly popular form of escapism for stressed out adults. In fact, some retail outlets now report that more costumes are sold to adults than children.
This led us to wonder what our favorite Minnesota Republican politicians are dressing up as this year? Wry Wing Politics did a little investigative reporting:
Kurt Bills. The rarely spotted U.S. Senate candidate challenging popular Senator Amy Kloubachar is reportedly going as Waldo, of the Where’s Waldo puzzle books. Mr. Bills is out there in one of Minnesota’s 87 counties. Can YOU find him?
Mary Franson. The state legislator who infamously attempted to draw a parallel between not giving families in need Food Stamps and not feeding wild animals, is dressing up as a wild game hunter.
Michelle Bachman. The Member of Congress who maintains that we need to “wean” Minnesotans off of popular programs such as Social Security and Medicare, is going as a, um, weaner.
Michael Brodkorb. Brodkorb is the Minnesota Senate staffer who admitted to having an affair with a married Senate leader, and is threatening to commit mass politicide by naming others at the State Capitol who Brodkorb says also had extramarital affairs. Mr. Brodkorb is dressing up as the personification of death, The Grim Reaper. Will anyone answer the door when he comes knocking?
Allen Quist. Allen Quist is a former state legislator, current congressional candidate and ever creative Creationist who edits a website that says that dinosaurs lived alongside human beings as recently as the 12th Century. To educate more Minnesota children about this little known scientific fact, Mr. Quist is dressing up as Pope Innnocent III’s papal pet “Barney.”
Kurt Zellers. The Minnesota House Speaker who created confusion at the Capitol last year when he announced that he was going to oppose the Vikings Stadium bill, but hoped that it would pass, is dressing up as comic book figure Two-Face.
Tim Pawlenty. Former Presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty is dressing up as, get this, a banking lobbyist. Eeeek! For a nation that has suffered mightily since the banksters’ wreckless practices caused a financial meltdown, it doesn’t get much scarier than this.
Norm Coleman. Former U.S. Senator Norm Coleman is going scary too. He is dressing up as a slimey leader of a corporate Super PAC. This costume is all the rage this year with little Republicans. With millions of Americans hiding from the political pollution brought to us by Super PACs like Coleman’s, the Super PAC Man is the new Freddy Krueger.
What a fright! Then, six days after Halloween, Minnesota voters will face the same question posed on October 31: Trick or treat?
Loveland
Saint Paul, MN — In the wake of two Minnesota Republicans’ shocking endorsements of freedom-to-marry legislation, today Minnesota Representative Orville Nielsen (R-Outing) further stunned the state’s political establishment by becoming the first member of his caucus to say he now believes that the planet Earth is probably not shaped like a disk.