“Sharing Curriculum” and the GOP’s Ceaseless Parade of Naked Cynicism

Puppet Master and Paul Gazelka

Many years ago I was talking with a veteran local TV political reporter. It was the Newt Gingrich era. You know, “balanced budgets” and “term limits” and all that other transparently cynical “revolutionary” bullshit.

My question was, “Why are you taking this seriously? Why even give it respectful attention?”

His answer was, “At least there are some ideas there”, avoiding any acknowledgment that the Gingrich PR machinery was “the hot issue” at the moment and, in straight pendulum terms it was time for the press to shift balance after a couple years of mostly favorable Bill Clinton coverage.

The overwhelming scent of bad faith politics, of the “loyal opposition” doing nothing other than throwing gravel in the gearworks of government was, you know, a “speculative” judgment. Reacting to manufactured topicality was a better position, journalistically speaking.

This comes to mind with the latest “revolutionary” proposal from Minnesota’s anything-but-loyal opposition. Namely, the transparently cynical proposal by top Republicans, including gubernatorial candidate Paul (Cotton Mather) Gazelka, to require the state’s teachers to “share” curriculum with parents — and should parents object to heretical texts like, oh I don’t know, “To Kill a Mockingbird” — offer “alternatives”, like, who knows? “The Selected Sermons of Jerry Falwell Jr.”

With Tim Walz still in office and Democrats controlling the House, this latest exercise in shameless pandering — dubbed the “Minnesota Parents’ Bill of Rights” — isn’t likely to go anywhere. But, still, there it is.

After two years of throwing up nothing but impediments to combating an international pandemic, and dismissing the impacts of police violence, this naked appeal to Critical Race Theory racists … (there, I said it) … is what Republicans are selling as a fresh idea. Something that truly improves the safety, prosperity and happiness of all concerned.

I have several teachers and ex-teachers among my family and circle of friends and it’s safe to describe them as universally disgusted. On top of Republicans regularly deriding the work of public school teachers for decades, (because as a group they tend to read a lot of books, have a union and vote Democrat they are a threat to Trump-era conservative ambitions), this latest brainstorm would add hours … and hours … of uncompensated time to every teacher’s workload. (Feel free to suspect that this “fresh idea” was handed down to Minnesota’s deep-thinking Republicans by some ALEC-like dark money cabal which is simultaneously sliding cash to their campaign funds.)

My problem, on the beat reporter/editor level, is declining to aggressively confront the naked pandering of this and other even more cynical positions taken up by 2022 conservatives.

Like, for example, the “fraudulent 2020 election” claims pushed by Trumpists and widely-to-unanimously accepted (publicly) by Minnesota Republicans.

Post January 6 there was a brief moment when a truly revolutionary idea kicked around professional journalism circles. Namely, every interview with any politician would begin with the simple question, “Did Joe Biden win the 2020 election fair and square?”

Any answer other than, “Of course he did”, meant the interview was over and the politician, self-revealed to be a pathetic toady for a corrupt reality TV performer, would have to get his free publicity from some other outlet. (Working reporters could hand him business cards for Joe Rogan.)

That moment dissipated an instant later. Which means we have returned to treating cynical nonsense like “sharing curriculum”, (more accurately described as “censoring” or “canceling curriculum”) as though it is a good faith proposal to improve the academic outcomes of Minnesota students.

So I ask again, does this crowd have even one constructive idea?

Don’t everyone answer at once.

And Who Will Be the Biggest Abortion Hustler of Them All?

The Paralympics in Tokyo have just ended. But here in the States the race among the sociopathic and ethically-challenged has only just begun. The starting gun for this particular level of competition was of course fired in Texas, where gun totin’ and medieval thinkin’ pretty much comes as a right of birth.

To re-cap, Republican Gov. Greg Abbott, his approval rating under water by 9% (50-49), facing a possible re-election threat from Beto O’Rourke and desperate to make Texans forget about last winter’s fatal natural gas FUBAR, signed into law the country’s most restrictive anti-abortion law … while promising to, you know, get all the rapists off the streets. (Never mind the nuance about how a rapist has to first rape someone before they can be … oh, never mind.)

Gov. Abbott signs 'heartbeat bill' into law, fight in court expected | KEYE
A Texas cross-section

In (very) short order, ex-beauty queen Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota, (a.k.a. The Alabama of the Midwest) , a bona fide Sarah Palin 3.0 in the GOP’s galaxy of presidential contenders, ordered her staff to find some way to outdo Abbott and Texas and make her and her state the most restricting-est in the whole big red country. (She didn’t quite pull off Abbott’s East German Stasi shtick of turning in Uber drivers for a $10,000 bounty. But give her time.)

Cat Scratch Fever: Ted Nugent tests positive for COVID days after flight  with Gov. Kristi Noem | KELOLAND.com
Noem with Ted Nugent …

With that bit of theater out of the way, all eyes have turned to Florida’s Ron DeSantis, still over-seeing the worst-ever surge of COVID deaths and still actively crushing his state’s health care system with Alex Jones-like factlessness. Clearly, if he wants a shot at the 2024 nomination, DeSantis not only has to fight off vaccine mandates, masks and basic science, but now is going to have top Abbott and Noem in abortion restriction. (Not a big concern with his geriatric base in The Villages, but tougher with any woman under 50.)

Petition · Recall and remove Florida governor Ron DeSantis. · Change.org
Master … puppet

Up home here in Minnesota we can soon expect any and all of the Republicans running to beat Gov. Tim Walz to do the triple-down on Texas and South Dakota. (Make that quintuple down if sex-trafficker-huggin’ Jennifer Carnahan makes good on her threat to get in the primary.) But who among us doubts former GOP Senate Majority Leader, Paul Gazelka, a guy I swear Margaret Atwood had to have met in person before she wrote “The Handmaid’s Tale”, isn’t right this minute conjuring up some kind of ultra-pious, quasi-religious, Torquemada-style restriction on the freedom of women in his “flock”? You know it’s coming.

Sen. Paul Gazelka on Awakening God's People in the Workplace & More | Truth  and Liberty Coalition Livecast

And while we’re at it, do note that over east, in Wisconsin, (a.k.a. The Florida of the Midwest), Scott Walker’s #2, former TV anchor-turned-lieutenant governor Rebecca Kleefisch has announced her candidacy, with early indications that she’ll be incumbent Tony Evers’ toughest competition. (Her “platform” includes this: “Vigorously enforce antitrust laws against monopolistic Big Tech,” protect free speech on campuses and in high schools, stop church closures during pandemics, ban most state gun control laws, an anti-abortion “Born-Alive Infant Protection Act” and “Appoint originalist judges in the mold of Justices Thomas and Barrett.”)

So yeah, the race to full Gilead/”The Divine Republic” is on.

The Handmaid's Tale' Turned a DC on the Verge of Shutdown into Gilead |  IndieWire

This despite recent polling that shows only 13% want the kind of laws Texas has put in place, (31% of Republicans), and that two-thirds of educated workers are saying they would not live in Texas or any other state with similar laws.

The Biden Justice Department today sued Texas to stop the law Abbott signed in to law. But until it goes back to the Supreme Court and Amy Coney Barrett (or as I think of her, Aunt Lydia), the fight will just be a huge money-maker for Abbott, Noem and every other moralistic conservative poseur ambitious for a cushy Big Gummint job.

Aunt Lydia Quotes - MagicalQuote

What’s left to wonder, post-Texas, really is the “dog catches car” scenario many pundits have observed. Cynics like myself have long regarded the Republican vow to over-turn Roe v. Wade as just another cheesy, transparent hustle of credulous evangelicals. It’s a “fight” Republican con men (and women) never really want to win because as long abortion abolition remains a goal — a moral goal, y’know — its a golden goose. A fat bird consistently crapping out checks from the religiously enfeebled. Deliver the overturning of Roe v. Wade and all that easy chump money dries up.

But for now through primary season next year the race for maximum abortion restriction is on. I predict one of these cheap abortion hustlers will be pitching the new and improved “trans vaginal ultra sound” before the year is out.

Another Reason To End Marijuana Prohibition: Public Health

Minnesota public health authorities are close to concluding that the leading culprit in the rash of serious cannabis vaping injuries is an additive called vitamin E acetate, which apparently is used by elicit street producers to thicken and dilute the THC in illegally produced vaping cartridges.  The Star Tribune reports:

The state’s findings were circulated nationally on Tuesday by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which has monitored the outbreak nationally and has reported 2,290 cases of vaping-associated lung injuries this year and 47 related deaths.

‘We now have evidence of vitamin E acetate in the lungs of Minnesotans and in illicit THC products from Minnesota during the outbreak,’ said Jan Malcolm, state health commissioner. ‘We have more work ahead, but every bit of evidence gets us closer to a resolution.'”

Assuming that Vitamin E is in fact the culprit, the obvious solution is to regulate the product to ensure that additive is no longer used.  Easy, right?

Not so fast. The problem with that obvious solution is that cannabis prohibition makes it impossible to regulate the safety of these illicit street products.

If we want to regulate marijuana-based products to keep consumers safe from dangerous additives like Vitamin E acetate, pesticides, molds, and fungus, we need those products to be legal so that they can be controlled by public regulators, just as we control other legal consumer products.

A while back, Republican Senate leader Paul Gazelka looked at this dangerous situation and somehow came to the opposite conclusion.

“Opponents of legalizing marijuana in Minnesota are seizing on the recent outbreak of vaping-related illnesses and teen nicotine addiction to urge caution on the cannabis front — even as advocates of legalization ramp up their campaign ahead of next year’s legislative session.

‘I hope this slows down the rush by [Gov. Tim Walz] and House Democrats on recreational marijuana,’ said state Sen. Paul Gazelka, R-Nisswa, the majority leader. ‘If they see the correlation, that might at least slow down the process.'”

Sen. Gazelka seems like a sincere, decent guy, but that logic makes no sense.  After all, if Sen. Gazelka learned that we have dangerous types of vehicles, insulation, ethanol, or stents harming consumers, would he back prohibition of vehicles, insulation, ethanol, and stents?  Of course not.  Instead, the sensible response would be to keep those products legal, but have public regulators monitor the products and require them to be safer.  Likewise, we need to make marijuana legal, so marijuana-based products can be regulated, tested, and required to be safer. 

So in addition to the social justice, fiscal, and logical reasons to end marijuana prohibition, we need to add another to the list.  Public health.

Disclosure:  In my public relations business, I have done work for one of two companies licensed in Minnesota to treat patients with cannabis-based medicines.  However, I’m not currently doing work for that company, and that company’s legal, regulated medicines aren’t a subject of these stories. I have never helped any clients advocating the end to marijuana prohibition. 

A Thank You Note for Minnesota Republicans

Dear Minnesota Republicans:

We just wanted to drop you a quick note to thank you for the gift of your marriage ban amendment.  Such a thoughtful idea!

We must admit, we didn’t appreciate your gift to its fullest when we first unwrapped it last spring.  To be candid, we thought it was kinda ugly.  We wanted to throw it away.  But we couldn’t.

As it turns out, though, it was one of the most beautiful gifts we’ve ever received. Continue reading