Franken Opponent Wish List

Minnesota Senator Al Franken doesn’t have a high profile challenger yet in the 2014 U.S. Senate race.  People don’t seem to be flocking to run against Franken at a time when a January 2013 Public Policy Polling (PPP) survey is finding that Senator Franken is leading former U.S. Senator Norm Coleman by 6 points, Congressman John Kline by 8 points, Congressman Erik Paulsen by 11 points and Congresswoman Michele Bachman by 14 points.

Despite these findings, 45% of Minnesota Republicans want to nominate Bachmann to oppose Franken. I would be in Blogger Heaven if a Franken-Bachmann race came to be, but I find it difficult to imagine that I, or Franken, could possibly be so lucky.

Given that the conventional candidates like Coleman looks to be taking a pass at the Senate race, maybe it’s time for the Minnesota GOP brain trust to get unconventional.  These are some of the match-ups that I personally day dream about:

Ventura-Franken. Both former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura and Al Franken were outrageous TV entertainers, talk radio hosts, and authors before they became politicians, so this would be a dream match-up.  If you want a taste of what kind of race this would be, remember that Jesse used his gubernatorial bully pulpit to let the world know of his dream to be reincarnated as a 38 double-D bra, and Al once observed, “Republicans are shameless d**ks. No, that’s not fair. Republican politicians are shameless d**ks.” Friends, this is a debate that even the viewers of Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo might actually watch.

Macdonald-FrankenNorm Macdonald was Franken’s Saturday Night Live (SNL) nemesis who won the SNL Weekend Update anchor assignment over Franken.  Therefore, Franken-Macdonald would seem a natural for a grudge re-match.  Macdonald is pro-life. Franken is pro-choice.  Franken admired liberal Paul Wellstone. Macdonald admired conservative Ronald Reagan.  Macdonald also earned his political bona fides in memorable post-SNL roles, such as in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo and Deuce Bigalow: Eurpoean Gigolo.  Would a role as a Super PAC gigolo in a U.S. Senate race really be such a stretch?

Quist-Franken.  As a comedian, Franken is thought to be a funny guy.  But former Minnesota state legislator Allen Quist has pretty good material himself.  For instance, the right wing conservative Christian pol tells tales about dinosaurs living alongside humans as recently as the 12th Century. (rimshot)  And Quist also compares the morals of gay people with the morals of the Ku Klux Klan members (laugh track).  Top that, Stuart Smalley.

Bills-Franken.  Kurt Bills was a Minnesota State Senator, and strong supporter of libertarian presidential candidate Ron Paul before he lost to U.S. Senator Amy Kloubachar in 2012 by 34 points. Like Franken, Bills also makes some pretty bad movies, so the pairing seems natural.  Note:  Mr. Bills is not to be confused with Franken’s SNL colleague Mr. Bill, though both did conclude their public careers flattened.

Limbaugh-Franken.  Now this would be fun.  As we all know, these two men are not exactly nuanced in their criticism of each other. Franken famously asserted that “Rush Limbaugh Is a Big, Fat Idiot,” while and Limbaugh said that Franken is a Muslim who stole his Senate seat Ahmadinejad style.  The sure to be lively Limbaugh-Franken debates could be held in an octogonal cage, with Gary Eichten presiding, at the Fitzgerald Theater.

Politics is a serious business, and elections have important ramifications for our everyday lives.  But they also can have an entertaining side.  So, a boy can dream, can’t he?

– Loveland

Note:  This post was also featured in Politics in Minnesota’s Best of the Blogs.

4 thoughts on “Franken Opponent Wish List

  1. With all the celebrities listed, it is a little surprising that Jason Lewis — America’s Mr. Right — is not worthy of consideration … or is that because he could be a serious candidate ?

    Senator Franken (who I was not enamored with in 2008 but reluctantly voted for – and am overall pleased with his performance,) should have a tough contest assuming that Erik Paulsen is the GOP standard-bearer. Norm Coleman lost because he failed to hold the Republicans together with Dean Barkley on the ballot as an alternative (Coleman underperformed John McCain by over 63,000) … that would not happen with Paulsen on the ballot. Second, Franken is too good a target for the Rove-moneychangers … and Norm Coleman will enjoy sending as much money as possible to Paulsen …. as will Financial Services Roundtable Chairman Tim Pawlenty who will find it very attractive to have Paulsen in the Senate fighting Dodd-Frank.

    If not Paulsen, then they should seriously look at Jason Lewis … and it would be an entertaining contest

    .

  2. Jason is a predictable boor. I prefer actual entertainment.

    I agree that Paulsen would be a good candidate if he could get nominated by party activists. Also agree that any of them will have more money than they need, both direct and Super PAC. Plus, non-Presidential elections are tough for Democrats, because of lower turnout. Franken should have a tough race on his hands.

    P.S. Paulsen says he isn’t running — http://minnesota.publicradio.org/collections/special/columns/polinaut/archive/2013/02/paulsen_confirm.shtml?refid=0

  3. Will there be a Wry Wing Politics reaction to the news that “Facing a competitive Senate reelection in a year, Al Franken is turning to a celebrity friend to help raise money for his 2014 campaign — Conan O’Brien” ? ? ?

    The word was out yesterday and as of this morning no published reaction on mngop.com or twitter comment. Where’s the slam ?

    It is appearing more likely everyday that ghosts are haunting the GOP establishment candidates — Erik Paulsen sees Mark Kennedy (do I want to give up a safe seat and get “Klouchar-ized”?) while John Kline sees Pete Hoekstra (do I want people to realize that the Second District has “Grumpy Grandpappy” as their representative ?) … both seem to be staying really low.

    For that matter, considering that Al Franken did not get dragged into the “Hagel Hates Jews” RJC campaign that was targetting a lot of Senators … and that the NRA has not lashed out hard at him, makes me wonder if the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) is giving up on Minnesota ?
    And considering that by associating himself with O’Brien, is Franken now realizing that his old SNL days will not be a campaign problem this time … and instead use his “celebrity” connections to raise monies for himself and other candidates ?

    • I wish Senator Franken would let a little bit more of his inner comedian out. I understand why he has tried to downplay that, but it seems like he has overcorrected. While Minnestotans don’t want SNL Al as their Senator, I’m not sure they’re demanding that he be as boring as he has been, and congressional politics could use a bit more humor in its mix. I wrote a post about this a million years ago.

      http://thesamerowdycrowd.wordpress.com/2007/03/05/let-al-be-al/

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