Saint Paul, Minnesota – In news that could shake up Minnesota’s previously sleepy U.S. Senate contest, Republican candidate Mike McFadden announced today that he has landed the endorsement of his young daughter Molly McFadden.
“With just two weeks left in the campaign, we decided to launch our October Surprise,” said McFadden, a CEO of an investment banking company from Sunfish Lake.
Ms. McFadden’s announcement was made through a new television ad produced by the McFadden campaign. The transcript of Ms. McFadden’s ad follows:
My dad, Mike McFadden, is running for Senate. He really tries. But he’s not very good at this political stuff.
Problem is, dad’s super honest. He works hard. And he’d rather help people than attack them.
Dad’s been all over Minnesota telling people about his plan.
But I can tell you this: He’s a good guy, with a great heart, and he’ll give everything for Minnesota.”
The announcement continues a red hot streak for the McFadden campaign, having secured the endorsement of the candidate’s Obamacare-hating peewee football players, fiscal analyzing son Conor, and now his political analyst daughter Molly.
“Amazingly, Mike is on the verge of getting endorsed by every one of his offspring, while liberal Al Franken hasn’t been endorsed by a single McFadden child,” said McFadden campaign spokesperson I.O. Koch.
In a rare moment of political harmony, the Franken campaign released a statement agreeing with Ms. McFadden: “While we dispute the ad assertions that Mike is honest, doesn’t attack people, and has a plan that he is sharing, we cannot disagree with the ad’s observation that Mike “is not very good at this political stuff.”
Note: This post is satire. Though Mike really did release a series of sappy ads featuring endorsements from his young players, son, and daughter, the reaction quotes are fabricated for my own amusement.